Fish

Thursday, April 23, 2015

I've never thought of myself as a particularly kind person. I can hold a grudge like nobody's business and I have no problem with completely cutting someone out of my life. I curse like a sailor and scoff at everyone's Instagram photos. Oh, and the other day some guy fell asleep in class and I thought he was being so rude that I actually kicked his chair to wake him up (I'm aware that I kinda stepped on my own point there).

Needless to say, when my boss gave me an award for exemplifying the value of Kindness last night at a mixer, I was pretty confused. My first thought was that maybe she just couldn't think of any other single word to describe me and so she went with a super generic word instead, just to cover all her bases. But then I decided to give myself the benefit of the doubt and actually think about the ways in which I may actually be kind.

I won't bore you with the finer details of my thought process or my poor attempts at justifying some of my more questionable actions...but I will say this: Most of the times that I have reacted impulsively or angrily, it has been in response to someone who wasn't being kind. When I have cut someone out of my life, it has been because they did something so unkind that I couldn't bear to associate with them any longer. When I curse like a sailor, it is usually because I have witnessed or heard about something incredibly unjust, and curse words are the only ways I can express the outrage I feel.

I kicked that kid's chair because I felt that he was being disrespectful to someone who was standing at the front of the room teaching their life's passion.

And who doesn't scoff at Instagram photos?

Maybe I'm a nicer person than I thought.


Sunday, March 8, 2015

"Unos nacen con estrella y otros nacen estrellados."

"Well, no one said life is fair."
"The universe owes you nothing, It was here first."
"God wouldn't give you anything you can't handle."
"It could be worse."
"Everything happens for a reason."
and so on and so forth.

People everywhere will try to tell you that whatever bad fate has befallen you is pretty much entirely your fault and/or the way it HAS to be. That's just the way the cookie crumbles and you have to deal with it. Oh, and you better not be mad about your situation either because that makes you a terrible person that no one wants to be around.
You know what you'll never hear?: "Yeah, that really sucks. I'd be pissed off too. You deserve better than the cards you've been dealt."

Why is it not okay to complain? Yes, the world isn't fair, I see your point and I totally agree. But guess what? You have every right to be angry. I'm not saying that it's acceptable to live your life wallowing in self-pity and not even try, I'm just saying you shouldn't ever let anybody else tell you how you should and should not feel.

(You know what's the worst one? "If you work hard enough, anything is possible." Uh-huh. Tell that to an immigrant farm worker in Salinas.)

I'm not trying to spread the bitterness, really. That's not at all what this is about. I've just recently come to the realization that, yes, I've spent a lot of time being bitter about things, but I've spent even more time feeling guilty about being unhappy. How twisted.

People are given things they can't handle all the time.
Sometimes it really can't get much worse.
Most of the time, horrible things happen for no reason at all.
And if you've worked really hard and been a really good person, you're not crazy for being disappointed when a little good fortune never came back your way.

Feel your feelings!


Friday, February 13, 2015

Tanto que se friega uno en ir a la escuela y para que? Una montana de deuda y la perdida de fe en la humanidad. Que gasto de tiempo!

Me faltan los acentos en este parafo pero nimodo. No se como anadirlos en este programa.

Sunday, February 8, 2015

I have this very quotable professor. My lecture notes are full of stuff like this:

"What do I do if there's a bag of cookies in my house? I eat them! I really, really do!" - on controlling your environment.

"What you're saying may be true, but I hate you nonetheless." - on learning to take criticism.

I can't wait to go to class tomorrow :)

Monday, January 26, 2015

Treasured Moment of Last Week

I was standing outside the school I was supposed to interview at and was about to go in when my boyfriend noticed that there was a ton of his cat's hair on my blazer. He promptly jumped out of the car and whipped out his lint roller (which he always has on hand) and began to wipe me down, very much against my will. Other applicants were passing by and staring at me since I imagine we looked ridiculous.

"Stop it, you're embarrassing me!"
"I know. I'm sorry pudding, but I can't let you go in like this."

Although mortified then, I find it unbearably adorable now.


Sunday, September 21, 2014

"OMG I hate Breaking Bad. I'm in the middle of Season 5 and I still can't get into it." -everyone I've ever hated.

Really, you hate the greatest television show of this generation? Then why in the world would you continue to watch all the way through season 5?
Oh yeah, because you actually like it but you're too much of a hipster to admit it!
More often than I would like to admit, I'll find out something that one of my friends didn't want me (specifically) to know. Usually, a gossipy friend will tell me "Okay, so and so said, 'Don't tell Stephanie', but just don't tell her I told you." The secret isn't ever about me, they just didn't want me in particular to find out what they're up to.

My main gripe is this: What is it about me specifically that makes people not want to tell me stuff? Yes, I can come off as horribly judgmental, but I defy you to tell me that I'm also wrong! I'm the most sensible person I know, and if I'm giving you any grief about something you did, you probably already know it was wrong. So fine, if you are looking for someone to encourage you to drink yourself into a stupor, neglect your responsibilities or hang out/sleep with toxic people, then yes, I'm probably the wrong person to go to. Besides,  I may scold briefly but I never try to impose my beliefs on anyone or talk them into doing what I think is right. I provide brief reality checks and then go back to listening thoughtfully and carefully.

I guess I just answered my own question, huh? haha...
Eh, whatever. I always find out anyway :)